I Recently went into My Best Friend, Li Yan's Blog. And i saw this 2 Blog "22 & 23 June 08". I'm very sad because something happen's in Jw house and it make her feel that "I'm a bad person or Etc" I dont wanna say what she told me cos i take in Comfidently. But i feel even sad is.. She say's : i realise that even being good towards a person or doing a good deed to a person they will nv appreciate... it's dumb to be a good person.. Is this mean ppl nv do good to her? i keep thinking abt it.. it's dumb to be a good person.. but i always being good to ppl did ppl appreciate.. or whta i do is not "good thing" and make her think is bad that she dont appreciate?? i dont know is that saying abt me because of sunday. "Things" happen make me think that is all saying abt me.. i dont know.. Hope is not..
Next is.. She say's:right now i can really trust no one except baby boy... though he's not always there fer me but he comforts me and pamper me.. She say "no one".. Am i part of the "no one"?? If Yes: Li Yan.. i dont know what happen to u.. i Always put u as my very good friend.. i nv think of anything to make u feel bad of to hurt u.. if u say there is no one care of u except baby boy.. then i really feel bad and i feel very Useless for me myself.. i cant even let my good friend to trust me.. When we r still 16's u use to tell me what happen good or bad and i also let u know abt mine.. i know time hav change.. U hav a BF but atlest u let me get Updated of happen from u.. u say ur maple di tell everything to mich.. u see, he juz ur maple di u alreay feel this way.. i'm ur good friend how i feel?? u oso tell all the thing to JW.. i know everything from him or mich.. we hav go trough such a long Friend Ship.. go Trough so many seas and yet what i am is a fish inside a bottle.. Nv know what happen to u and what u hav been.. i know u can always look for Jw when u need help but i oso hope sometime u will think of me when u need help.. i oso sceard to tell u what happen to me cos u might think for what u tell me?? we hav been Friend for so many yr's and what you think is i dont care for you and make you Untrust of me.. i know Jw is ur Bf and he care of u.. But did i care for u?? uR Picture only Jw.. What oso Jw.. where is me?? Am i part of ur Picture?? i feel so left out after u wroth this.. i'm not compareing me and Jw cos friend and Relation can Nv put together, But I as ur friend really tt Powerless to stay in ur Picture 4Ever?? 1st u put Yvonne aside?? am i the next?? i dont know.. if u say no one care for u then u should know how i feel when ppl dont trust espesally U li yan when u dont trust me.. U nv ask me what happen, am i the one who make "Thing" happen.. But what u did is "YOU R THE ONE".. do u know how i feel?? U say u hav u bad moob, i know becos i know u for Yrs and u should know what happen saturday.. i oso feel sad and i still need to open 1 eye and close the other for u.. I dont wanna be like this forever.. i oso hope ppl can Open one and close the other "FOR ME" can this happen?? One day a strong tree will fall and all the leaf will drop too.. I'm not as strong as what u see.. When i got thing i oso need to think can i tell u?? Because u always busy.. When i feel lonelyness who is there be my side?? i Want to ask u out but i nv ask, WHY? cos i know u r not free.. nopoint Jumping in to the seas where there is no Life Guard.. i always the one who call u and ask "how r u".. Who not u the one called and ask me the same question?? Even is juz a "how r u" this is enough.. Always i ask u out.. Why dont u ask me out?? Why always i must be the 1st one to move?? i oso wanna be late sometime.. Step aside and let ppl care.. i keep careing for other but who care for me?? And u r my very Good Friend u dont even trust me then who will?? Yan.. u Should be crying now i know.. And i dont wanna bluff u.. I'm saying this with me tears on..
To Jw: I know u will read this and i dont want u to think what i jus said is saying abt u.. This is something between me and Li Yan.. I hope u dont feel angry what i jus said.. Dont read this as a shoe of Li Yan BF.. Read this as a Freind who care for his Real Friend's.. Hope u understand ya..
16:44 ; smile'
Saturday, June 21, 2008
21 June 08
Today is 21 June 08.. This is the day i hav been waiting for since "A" lvl hav beed start in the Yr 2008.. Byright i wont be writeing this blog here because i wall be going out ya.. But the person i wanted to go out with he's not free today.. We said we will be meeting at PS and hav a movie "Get Smart" 3days ago.. I was so happy!! I cant even sleep because i'm so Kan Chiong abt he next day.. when i abt to get into my LaLaLand.. My phone msg tones comes.. I tell myself: Please not David.. But the ans seems not the one i think.. I open the msg.. I saw his name.. I tell myself: Please dont tell me u cant make it.. So the ans is "HE CANT MAKE IT".. SAD!! I really wanted to see him.. I dont know what to do now.. I feel so down..
08:53 ; smile'
Saturday, June 7, 2008
04/06/08 - 07/06/08
Today is the day i go Brunel.. haha ya.. keep thinking of that weather is there alot of thing to do or not.. Today.. the very 1st moment i get here.. Guess wad?? I'm having a fever.. Up to 38.8'C.. Shiock!! But still i think this is juz weather Prob so i dont really care.. Night time.. alot of thing to do.. sian.. very tired.. very late then sleep.. Mid nite very cold sia.. i cal feel my hair standing.. head going eles where(pain).. The next day i drinkalot of water try to keep my temperture low.. But, look's like not working cos the temperture some time high some time low.. So plan to see the Medic here.. But raining.. sigh.. Juz run la.. Reach the Medical Center.. My temperture is 38.6'C.. Need to sleep inside the sickbay.. I totally sleep there 2day sia.. The day i come out is like "WOW" happy... There is a guy go in the same day with me, Fever too but i'm more lucky.. His fever keep staying at around 38.8'C or more.. So he need to Drip.. Sad sia.. Untill now he still inside.. Sigh.. Free time go see him ba.. Hahaa.. Hope i'm ok from today.. I miss my House, Family.. And friend oso.. AND David... Sigh.. Going to msg him later.. Hahaa.. Anyway I'm ok now.. u guys Tc ya.. Miss u All always.. Muacks!!!
